The fall of the house of grammar

Today I was reading a blog post when I spotted not one, not two, but three grammatical errors. Now this is not so out of the ordinary, I’m sure my posts are (unfortunately) peppered with the things. This, however, was a blog post written for a website with an editor to edit posts/reviews/articles written for this site. So now the story takes a bit more of an interesting turn, don’t you think?

Well, no probably you don’t. In fact you probably find grammar dull and irritating, and myself a pedantic pain in the arse/ass (please delete your least favoured lexical choice) for caring about it so much. But, dammit, I do (here I hear faint complaints about starting a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, but I’ve been starting sentences with ‘but’ for years and it never did me any harm). Evidently, therefore, I do not care so much for complex grammatical rules – seeing myself more as one of those creative types who damns such grammatical codes of conduct to hell and goes their own rebellious way.

Rebellious may be too strong a word; I’m not sure I can really picture my rogue coordinating conjunctions getting up to any mischief as they cavort on the road of illicit sentence construction…anyway, I’ve meandered wildly off-course. So, the grammatical errors that bug me are the glaringly obvious,easily fixed ones that any decent writer should recognise and correct. Theres/theirs to name a common culprit and, please, do not even get me started on the wrongly placed on, in fact, completely redundant apostrophe.

I don’t know if it’s a thing with writers these days, that they are pressed for time – I understand, we all are – and so feel that chucking in the odd apostrophe willy-nilly will make them look like they know their grammatical stuff. Well, it won’t. No. I for one will most certainly recognise a possessive ‘ where it shouldn’t be.

Anyway, I have my eye has fallen upon all too many a misused apostrophe in published works of late – not to mention the famous case of the shop signs getting it wrong. So I have come to this conclusion; the fall of the correct knowledge, and use, of grammar in our society is inherently bound to the fall of our society as a whole. If we are not careful with our grammar then the only result that I can see is the reign of complete chaos, perhaps it will even provoke the apocalypse.

This conclusion that I have reached is, of course, one of the most ridiculous of things. For the thinking of this, I can only apologise on behalf of those most bizarre, silly and – yes – perhaps even grammatically incorrect recesses of my brain. I appear to have rendered my own argument null and void.


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